Day 3

Ewwwww, I am sick. A tummy bug is doing the rounds of our family - my son had it first, then my husband, and now my daughter and I have succumbed. Ew. I seriously can almost not keep up with the laundry.

I did a really indulgent thing today - I had a half hour sleep mid-morning! Thank you husband. xxxx

I've been thinking a lot about my photography over the last couple of days. I've been contracting to studios for over 10 years now, and it's been great. I've learned an incredible amount, worked with amazing people, and gained confidence, nous, and lifelong friendships.

For the last couple of years, though, I've been contemplating 'nreaking free' and starting my own studio. It's scary! If a client has a problem, it's up to me (and only me!) to fix it! And what if noone books me? What if I'm not good enough? In my rational moments none of this worries me, but at 3 in the morning it's another thing entirely.

I'm finally feeling ready to go for it, though, and one big reason is that I've taken the last year to shhoot a lot of personal work and really try and find out what makes me 'tick' as a photographer. As pretentious as it sounds to 'take time out to find myself as an artist' (cringe), it's been really helpful and my confidence has soared. I've discovered that while I admire many, many photographers (and other artists), all of whom have very different styles and approaches, I also have my own style and approach that's every bit as good and valid! And I'm sure there are people out there with whom my style will resonate, and who will be excited to book me to photograph them. So as I continue to build a body of work that represents my own vision, not that of a studio I'm shooting for, I'm also getting ready to order stationery with my logo on it, get a website live and kicking, and have a stand at a bridal fair to see what the reaction will be. I hope it;s good. I hope people will like what I do. But the fact is that I love shooting the way I want to, and I love it so much that I'm prepared to give it a shot. If nothing else I've got some great photos of my kids to treasure as a result of all my experimentation, and if I get nothing else, that's good enough.

So that's it for today. Noone wants to read about me eating cooked pumpkin soup and toast while I'm sick :-)

And of course I didn't exercise because I could seriously sleep all day. Tomorrow, or whenever I feel well again. Instead I'm just indulging in daydreams about cycling in the Swiss Jura. Mmmmmmmm....