Thursday 23 February 2012

Post-Diet and I can't eat unhealthy food!

I am never drinking again.

Not that I actually drink, or drank, any alcohol. I haven't drunk alcohol since I was pregnant with my 4-year-old, and before that I never drank much, just a glass of wine with dinner a few times a year. No, it's just that 'I'm never drinking again' is the classic post-party phrase of the seedy, and I kind of feel that way at the moment with some less good cooked foods.

So, the programs are over and I thought I'd relax a bit - still nothing like the way I used to eat, but just treat myself to some special yummy treats because I'd been avoiding them for so long. Over the last few days I've had a few Mint Slice biscuits and some of my husband's Indian take-away, plus about a quarter cup of pasta. Well, my body is reacting violently. I have a killer headache, sore throat, my glands are swollen and my body is stiff and aching. It's got to be the food. That can't be a coincidence. So it looks as though I'm going to stay eating raw foods for the forseeable future. I need that energy back, and the good feelings, and the feeling good!

There is a Free Guide to Raw at raw-pleasure.com.au and I'm working my way through the recipes in there. They all look super, and the ones I've had so far have been great.

From now on, then, tthere's no point messing around. Some cokoed foods seem fine for me (wholemeal bread, rice, pulses) in very small amounts, but it's all going to have to be healthy wholefoods and almost everything raw. I feel great about it actually, because I can see that here I definitely have a way to keep myself feeling fantastic for the long term.

My next challenge is designing foods to take with me on the bike on long rides. I'm thinking dried fruit balls, chia seeds in orange juice... I'll try some options and see what works.

Sunday 19 February 2012

Day 28! Last day of the 28-day program... and photos!

Day 28. The last day. I feel fantastic! Today I am revisiting the goals I had for this cleanse to see how well the program really worked for me. The day I began the Garden Diet programs I wrote:

Firstly, I want to lose the remainder of my baby weight, a couple of dress sizes, so that I'll once again fit into all the beautiful clothes I wore before I had kids.
Well, not all the weight is gone, but a lot of it certainly has. I fit into almost all my pre-baby clothes - just my jeans are a bit too tight to comfortably do up. But I'm continuing to lose weight and I have no doubt that I'll get there. I have no idea of my weight in kilos, but as far as fitting into clothes (and looking at photos of myself!) can tell me, I have lost siginificant weight. Yay me!

I also wanted this program to Change my perceptions. I want to move from viewing raw food as part of a healthy diet to considering it as a complete cuisine unto itself, which offers everything I need both nutritionally and spiritually, without me 'missing out' by not eating cooked foods. I want to walk past cooked foods without even considering them as applicable to me.
Again I'd say I'm well on the way to meeting this goal, without being completely there yet. In the raw diet I missed eating Japanese food, Indian food, Thai food, Middle Eastern food, Mediterranean tastes, and many other cuisines that I usually relish. During the next few weeks I plan to make raw food versions of these cuisines. For example, I miss Italian food, but if I add oregano and basil to a tomato and avocado salad, there's and Italian-inspired dish right there. And I'm sure the same is possible with the signature flavours of all the world's cuisines. I certainly had many days of 100% raw eating when I didn't feel that I was missing a thing, so my goal is within reach.

I wanted to Glow glow glow and feel vibrant, healthy and energetic.
This goal is definitely met in the way I feel, if not in the way I look. My eyes still look tired but then again I'm a very busy lass and I really am tired! A lot less tired than I was before the programs, and I do feel glowing and vibrant, healthy and energetic, and am feeling more and more so by the day.

I wanted to Integrate exercise back into my daily life - I was once fairly fit and I long to recapture that feeling.
Hmmm, I'm still working on that one. That's my fault, not the program's! And I am definitely moving in the right direction in this area as well. I went for a run today and felt amazing!  Quick and light and fast, my blood was pumping and I felt on top of the world. Yeeha!

Finlly, I wanted to Get over thinking about food all the time in a negative, guilty, deprivation-oriented way and instead bubble with joy at the beautiful raw foods I am lucky enough to be able to enjoy.
Done. Tick. Accomplished. Tonight we had dinner at my borther-in-law's house, a barbecue. I had salad and some bread, and it was so much less satisfying than the wonderful, varied, creative recipes on the program. I love food and am really enjoying it, completely free of guilt or any other negativity, whether I am following the program properly or not! Incredible!

A major strength of the program for me was its three-pronged focus: food, exercise and happiness. While I suspect that for most people the happiness bit is a cute little add-on, for me it has been the most transforming and enriching part of the program for sure. As a result of doing them I feel more centred, more present, more alive, and, yes, happier!

Some photos from today (I did some in the clothes I wore at the start, and some in my running clothes, which I now feel confident to wear! Yeeha! Check out how loose my previously stretched-tight t-shirt is!):







So I'm still a bit uncertain about where to go from here. I do love eating raw food and I'd love to take the raw diet with me into the future. I do feel ehalthier, better, and much more energetic on raw foods. I also suspect that over time if I eat cooked foods I will eat more and more, until my diet is back to where it was before Is tarted the Garden Diet. At the same time I can't see myself excluding all cooked foods long-term - it's just too restrictive for me right now. So for the next three weeks I'm going to do the 21-day Garden Diet cleanse, but alter the meals to incorporate more varied flavours, and eat occasional really healthy cooked foods if I need to. So sushi is fine, muffins are not. Vegan Dahl is fine, lasagne is not. It's generally pretty simple to work out which cooked foods are okay for me and which aren't, so I'll see how I go and I'll take stock again in another three weeks. I'll give exercise a red hot go again, and plan that this time it's here to stay.

Gotta go! Thanks for reading!

xx

Mich.





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Saturday 18 February 2012

Day 27

The second last day of the 28-day program. It's a bit of an anticlimax actually. The raw diet is now something I can carry forward into the rest of my life, and because I still eat tiny bits of cooked food, it's no hassle to adopt raw food as a permanent lifestyle change.

Exercise really needs to be my next big focus. I'm just not doing it, and I'm frustrated because I love the feeling of being strong and fit, and the activities I do to get and be fit! I really need to start making the time and just going for it. It's definitely easier not to - everything from life logistics to keeping my hair tidy are easier when I stroll with the pram instead of running - but I know that once I',m properly into an exercise habit again I won't be able to imagine living without it. I find it hard to believe, actually, how easily I've fallen into being a non-exerciser, since I used to define myself so much by my active lifestyle.

Today I ate raw food until dinner. Breakfast was a smoothie - orange juice, silverbeet, and plums. Lunch was a bowl of greens from the garden, with hot water poured over them (as hot as it could be without burning my hand, so the dish was still 'raw'), and chilli and ginger and pepper. Like a green soup. I also ate my son;s leftover mashed avocado and carrot sticks. I snacked a lot on fruit, and drank oodles of water. For dinner I ate cooked food, because we visited friends for dinner and I've decided to eat cooked food socially, so as to make the raw diet easier to maintain in the long term. After all, our social calendar isn't so wild that we're out very often!

Tomorrow is 'during' photo day again. I'm kinda nervous about it because I really haven't stuck to the program at all religiously, but my waistbands are telling me that I'm still losing weight, albeit slowly. Slow and steady is fine with me anyway! However, I'm not quite where I want my weight loss to take me - I still can't do up the (admittedly very small) jeans I wore before my most recent pregnancy, although I can put them on, which I couldn't do before I did this program! I am toying with whether or not to do the 21-day program again, as I thought I would, or whether to try and 'go it alone' for a while. At the moment I'm still tempted to do the program, and stick with it fairly closely, but experiment with adding different herbs and spices to change the flavours of the dishes. Extending their variety even further can't be a bad thing!

Photos coming tomorrow.....

Friday 17 February 2012

Days 23, 24, 25 & 26!

Four days to catch up on. It's been chaos here! We've been so busy, my little ones have been awake at night, I've barely slept until last night. Nothing in particular is happening, we're just really busy! My husband's had some late nights working from home, there seems to have been more housework to do than normal for some reason, and the kids are waking at night in tag-team so that one night I was up for four hours straight. Usually they both sleep all night so it was a rude shock to be back in the weird world of sleep deprivation again!

I've stuck with eating mostly raw food throughout, and it's not been a problem. I haven't been using the program's recipes - with our busyness it's been easier to grab simple salads and fruit and handfuls of nuts rather than concentrate on new recipes. I am, however, looking forward to making the recipes over the next few weeks until I've tried them all.

As for exercise, are you kidding?? Tomorrow. Tomorrow is Saturday and I'm not working, so there's plenty of opportunity to get back on the bike. I've re-jigged my goal for Around the Bay in a Day. Doing the full loop (250k's) this year is going to be a huge stretch. If I'm going to do it I want to enjoy it, which means I'd need to train properly, and realistically with uni and the kids and work I'm not going to be able to pump out 6 or 8 hour rides on the weekends. It's a bigger training time committment than running a marathon. So I'm going to do the 100km option this year. My husband will do the whole loop and I'll catch a train to Sorrento, meet him, and try and hold his wheel back to Melbourne :-). I know I could go out and ride 100kms tomorrow with no training, I've ridden my bike enough in the past to know what to do and how to pace myself. This decision has taken the presure off hugely, I feel really happy with it, and I've still got something to train for (so I can do it fast!!). I'll do the 250k option the year after I finish uni. Those roads aren't going anywhere!

Some of the happiness exercises from the past few days have been:

--- Write about a dream you had for your life that you gave up:
 Mountaineering. For years I dreamed of climbing big, technical mountains. Peaks over 8000 metres. Remote, technial, no-rescue-possible stuff in Patagonia. K2. I read everything I could and I had my plan and when I was 21 I joined an expedition in Nepal. It wasn't anything fancy - it was a trip run by a tour company, and while I needed to have clearance from a doctor, basically anyone who was fit and healthy would have been allowed to sign up. It wasn't a technical climbing trip and no climbing experience was necessary. I did it because someone I loved had died in a climbing accident and I realised that life is short, and if there was something I wanted to do I had to do it immediately in case the chance to do it was taken from me. So instead of starting with a technical moutnaineering course in New Zealand and working my way up to bigger and more difficult climbs, I decided to spend my trust fund to get to the Himalayas asap. And rather than go to the places I could manage on my own, I signed up with the tour complany to go somewhere I lacked the experience and knowledge to get to myself. Somewhere more challenging, more remote, and more 'raw' (!!) than the places most tourists visit.

So why did I give up on my mountaineering dream? Well, on that trip I had issues with altitude - I couldn't go over 5580 metres, and the smallest of the two summits we attempted was 5950 metres, so I missed out on both summits. After that I realised that mountaineering wasn't for me what I tought it would be. It wasn't a transcendental experience, and it had little relationship to rock climbing (which was my passion at the time). It was basically walking slowly in very little oxygen, and feeling sick and hurting the entire time, for weeks at a time. The spectacular scenery grabbed my heart, it's true, but since that trip I've had no desire to climb peaks again. I'd rather walk quietly among them in a quieter, less aggressive, subtler manner. I now dream of going back to the Himalayas, and just sitting, watching.

 --- Write about a dream you still have for your life.
Oh, so many! Travel is a huge passion of mine and I dream about travelling to all sorts of places, speaking lots of languages, staying for ages, and getting to know places that most people don't. 

Another happiness exercise was to listen deeply, and write about whatever that activity motivated me to write about. I focused on concentrating deeply (taking the term 'listening' rather metaphorically) on the way I felt after eating anything. It's enlightening! It turns out that honey, raw honey, doesn't make me feel great. It's subtle but I noticed it, where I'd never focused enough to notice before. And it turns out that hommus made from cooked chick peas is fine for me! so is wholemeal bread if I don't eat much.

One really interesting happiness exercise was directed at those wanting to transition into their dream career. The exercise is to spend the first hour of each day working on that career. I am three quarters through a teaching degree. It's taking years because I'm doing it part time, but I'll finish at the end of next year. My semester starts next week, and I love the idea of getting up an hour earlier each day and doing uni work (will I love that idea when the alarm rings? I'll have to go to bed earlier). We'll see!

I'm making one more change to my life. I'm a list writer. Give me a goal and I'll give you a list of steps to get there. I love lists. They make me feel in control. Writing a list gives a warm, satisfying feeling of having done something tangible and constructive. I've written lists of things I'd love to buy or make to transform our little place into an organisational oasis. Lists of things to do to make my photography business a reality. Lists of races to enter. And hundreds of meal plans and exercise programs that I've never even begun to stick to. I'm realising that these lists are actually doing me no favours. Instead of writing the blessed list I could be doing something concrete and positive to actually get to the goal! The list is not a thing that achieves the goal! It's not a real thing, it;s a crutch that distracts me from the fact that I haven't actually done anything! And writing the list feels so good that once it is written, I bask in the satisfied glow of having completed the list, mentally congratulate myself, set the list neatly aside without doing a single thing it says. So, no more lists! Whenever I'm tempted to write a list I'm instead doing something that will lead to results. So now my house looks like a bomb has hit it as I am in the middle of 'spring cleaning' and reorganisation! The lounge room is a calm oasis, the hallway cupboard is an organised joy to behold, the rest of the place is a work in progress :-).

Whether that last paragraph is relevant to raw food or not I'm not sure, except that having the program has freed me from writing my own shopping list and menu plan, and the liberation I feel caused me to reflect on lists in general and their role in my life. So I bid them farewell.

Monday 13 February 2012

Day 22

There are so many possible green smoothie combinations! They are wonderful! Extremely tasty and satisfying.

Breakfast today was orange juice, a peach, and apple, and silverbeet, all blended up into liquidy goodness. Lunch was another smoothie - orange juice, pineapple and silverbeet. My green smoothie week is very handy for using up the silverbeet that is everywhere in our vegie garden at the moment! I snacked in the afternoon, on nuts and a nashi pear and some grapes. Dinner wasn't a smoothie... I am a smoothie cleanse cheat! I made ratatouille for the boys and it smelled so extremely beautiful that I decided to go for it and have a bowl full. It was great and I feel great now too. Back to smoothies tomorrow :-)

I had some knee pain this morning after yesterday's ride, so I've cancelled today's ride and I'll do some yoga and pilates tonight instead. My knees are not in great shape. They are tracking strangely as a result of weak quad muscles and tight hamstrings and ITB. The bike riding should help enormously, as it will strengthen my quads quick smart, but I'm happy to ease into it and let my body adapt before getting too full-on with training. I do love it though - I'll be back on tomorrow for sure.

Today's journal exercise is to reflect on things I've learned about myself through facing challenges. I find this a really difficult exercise and I'm not satisfied that my answers so far are in any way 'complete', but I'm giving it a go and so far I feel that I've learned:

That life is short, a lot shorter than I really understand, and to make the most of my life it is important to be authentic, to be true to myself and my desires and my values and beliefs. If I want to do something I only have one short life in which to do it, so I'd better get going!

I've never been glad that I didn't do something because I was afraid of it, but I'm so glad for all of the things that I've done despite intense fear! Facing fearful situations has led me to some wonderful jobs, wonderful friendships, wonderful outdoor experiences, I've seen amazing places an dI've been let into amazing lives thta I otherwise wouldn't have encountered. So fear alone isn't a good reason not to do something - the 'comfort zone' isn;t always the most fulfilling place in which to be.

I'm a lot stronger and more capable than I might think. I'm brave and calm.

The gretest challenges that I've undertaken have led me to the greatest rewards of my life.

A challenge can be welcomed, and by welconing a challenge I am invigorated and I enjoy the process of facing the challenge and I learn and grow a lot more than if I simply struggle through the challenge to get it over with. Take that, childbirth and uni assignments! :-)

Sunday 12 February 2012

Day 21

Green smoothie day! There are a million variations on green smoothies so I'm not bored after one day. My favourite one was a tie between lunch (watermelon with mint) and dinner (orange juice, nectarines, banana and silverbeet). Both delicious and over far too quickly! We ate at my parents-in-law for dinner tonight, but rather than make my smoothie there I had it just beofre we left home. I didn;t feel awkward eating nothign at the dinner table though, because I sat my daughter on my lap and fed her, so I was occupied anyyway. Plus I nibbled on salad bits from my son's plate when he was finished, so I blended in with hat everyone else was doing anyway.

I am noticing though that I just can't seem to stay full, at least I couldn't today. I was constantly hungry! I ended up eating a few nectarines and two raw 'spiced fig balls' that I bought at the farmer's market - wonderful. Really wonderful. I tried to see what was in the fig balls - it looked like dried figs, dates, various nuts, pepitas, some other dried fruits, cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and more. Absolutely devine. I'll be trying to make some myself, they were so good.

I finally got back on the bike today! Just 45 minutes on the home trainer, but it's a start. My knees both 'click' when under load, and it bothers me so much that I've stopped runing until I fix this issue. I'm focusing on  cycling to build the muscles around the knee, and yoga to increase those muscles' flexibility, strategies which I hope will allow it to track properly and eliminate the clicking. I really enjyoed being back on the bike - my inertia was lifted and I feel both physically and metaphorically 'in motion' again.

Today's happiness exercise is to notice and get excited about our thoughts about ehat we want to create within our lives. I've been focusing on thiniing about an exciting new venture - after 10 years of working for other people I am about to launch my own photography business, and that is exciting and scary as anything! My thought all revolved around light today - the endless search for perfect light and new perfect ways to use it in my work. I'm committed to being reall authentic to my own vision and not being driven by market demands. I'm going to be a teacher when I finish uni in 2 years, so I don;t have to rely on making lots of bookings with my photography. I can just stick to what resonates with me and then the clients to whom that appeals will find me. It's a thrilling and liberating prospect and one that has occupied my mind for weeks!

Saturday 11 February 2012

Days 18, 19 and 20

Over the last few days my raw diet has felt really 'settled in' and I'm starting to feel quite independant from the transition-to-raw program. There's still the rest of this week and next week to go, and there are heaps of new and delicious-looking recipes, but I'm deviating from the menu a lot and designing my own meals. Most of my meals are quite simple at the moment - a salad with leafy greens, avocado and tomato, or an OJ smoothie, or fruit, and I'm eating far fewer nuts than I was when I began the raw programs. I'll definitely try all the recipes in the program at some stage, but I've been really busy these past few days and it's been easiest just to grab fruit or make a simple salad when I'm in a rush, rather than make an unfamiliar recipe. One I do have to mention, though, is the avocado and kiwi salad. Simply devine, and my 4 year old and 6 month old both loved it too!

My health has been a bit sub-par these past few days, with mild headaches, a sore throat and tiredness. It seems like a detox reaction to me, so I'm just rolling with it for now and hoping that soon I'll feel great again. It's meant that I haven't done any exercise, and today when the opportunity arose I had a sleep instead!

I think that sleep is the next part of my lifestyle to address. I really don't sleep enough. By the time the children are asleep it's usually already 10pm, then my husband and I both really need some time together, so it can be midnight before we go to bed. Well, I've always preferred to go to bed at 10 myself, so I'm planning to try and get to bed by 10 each night and get up at 6am. That would give me time for some yoga first thing in the morning, and fit in with my 'body clock' much better than my current pattern. I tend to get quite 'snacky' at night and continually wander into the kitchen for dates or fruit. I'm sure this is because I'm trying to get energy to stay awake, and the staying up late messes with my body's hungry/full chemistry, and I'd really like to lose more weight and get off the plateau that I feel I've been on for a couple of weeks. An earlier bed time will keep me out of the kitchen at night!

Another thing I'll be doing to get off that plateau is a green smoothie cleanse. It's not part of the program but I'm burning to do it in the same way that I was burning to do the raw programs before I started. I'm starting tomorrow, and I'll do a 5 day green smoothie and raw green soup cleanse and then ease back into eating non-blended foods. I don't even really know why I'm doing it, because I'm sure I could lose more weight and still eat solid foods, but my body is craving green smoothies and I'm going to listen to what it is telling me! It's great to feel this fired up about something so good for me.

I smelled a lolly today - someone opened a bag of jelly snakes near me - and all I smelled was offensive chemicals. I can't believe I used to eat those and think they were a yummy treat! This diet has helped me easily give up a few things I have tried to give up eating many times, previously without complete success: chocolate, lollies, cakes, biscuits, hot chocolate, soy products, cheese, wheat products. A pretty impressive list I reckon!

I haven't been doing the program's happiness exercies these psat few days, instead I've been really involved in directing my own thoughts and meditations. I've been noticing, and amazed by, the extremely close relationship between my attention and my children's behaviour. When I focus all my atention on them, gee they behave well. I know that; a well known parenting fact, but I'm really aware now of the extent to which it is true. Not that I usually ignore the kids (!!), but increasing the intensity of my focus upon them is really rewarding for all of us. My son has been particularly affectionate and loving lately, which is a gratifying reward for my increased awareness!

Friday 10 February 2012

Day 17

Raw was easy and breezy today, thank heavens. Cravings aren't really bothering me at the moment and I'm feeling good. I haven't been doing exrecise though. Once again I'm not booking it into my day - not scheduling it properly. That big bike ride is getting closer so I'd better get back into it!

My food today was awesome, but I felt hungry all day! It happens from time to time when my daughter is going through a growth spurt and breastfeeding mroe than usual. Breakfast was an orange, banana and blueberry smoothie, and while a smoothie usually keeps me full until lunchtime, today I was hungry again by 9:30am! I snacked on fruit throughout the morning, then had a celery soup for lunch. It was fabulous! I didn't blend it all that much - I didn't want it totally liquified, more like a mushy salad. I loved it. For dinner I deviated from the program's menu to make a fennel salad. I love fennel and haven't eaten it for ages, so when I saw the fennel bulbs in the shop I grabbed one with glee. I had raw broccoli and cauliflower with it, just because there aw some leftover when I rpepared my family's dinner. They had stir-fry, which is a great meal to make raw and cooked simultaneously. I chopped ingredients for everyone and just kept mine aside while I cooked theirs. Through the day I've also snacked on dates and nuts - super hunger busters!

Today's happiness exercise is to live our lives in a spirit of contribution. Well yesterday I did something I've been wanting to do for years and never got around to doing - I sponsored a child! So today when I bought some things I wanted for myself I made sure I spent a bit less, so that I can pay for my sponsorship. And doing that, contributing to improving the life of someone so much less fortunate than me, made me incredibly happy and I felt high on that all day. I was very patient and gentle with my kids, and gave them lots of attention, thinking all the time of children who are not so lucky. I feel so fortunate that I'm in a position to do something that can bring such joy to me as well as to others!

Tuesday 7 February 2012

Day 16

The deep cleanse week is over and we're back to 'normal' raw vegan food - richer, more filling and varied than the deep cleanse menu. And I love it! Raw vegan eating is suddenly really easy again, now that I'm discovering new recipes again and eating with what feels like no restriction. I love it! The fact that a raw vegan diet seems unrestricted to me now shows the extent to which I have adopted a new normal.

Breakfast today was supposed to be a green smoothie, and I bought the ingredients but was halfway through my morning, and away from home, before I realised I forgot to make breakfast! Preschool days mean busy mornings :-). I bought myself a watermelonjuice instead - fresh, invigorating and so yummy! Lunch was fantastic - a recipe I've never had before - a sprout salad with avocado and the most delicious cashew nutdressing. The quantity was big enough that I had the leftovers for dinner! It worked really well having my dinner already made so I only had to cook for the boys rather than making two meals - I might try and do that more often. In between meals I snacked on fruit - lovely fresh plums :-).

The rain kept me off the bike and stopped me from running today - I like to run in the rain but it's not really fair on my baby to take her with me in the pram when it's pouring! Instead I'll do Koya's workout tonight when my son is asleep, and yoga as well if I'm not too sleepy.

Today's happiness exercise is to contemplate how I can live more lovingly, and to make a list of questions related to my life and related to loving. It's a challenging one but so far I have come up with the following:

How can I be more 'in the moment' to turn my whole focus on my husband and kids? How can I best show them how much I love them?

Monday 6 February 2012

Days 13, 14 and 15

Wow, three days behind! There's a reason. My husband has been working on a huuuuuge work project and has been living, eating, and (not) sleeping at the computer for days. Poor guy is glad it's nearly finished! Bathing the kids and washing the dishes seems like a picnic by comparison!

Saturday (Day 13) was a great day. It was the first day for ages that I didn't eat a single bite of cooked food - no nibbles of my son's leftovers or 'tastes' of the cooking. I had orange juice for breakfast and felt wonderful afterwards, and salads for lunch and dinner. The dinner was actually supposed to be a green juice, but since my juicer is dead I ate the ingredients instead of juicing them. I snacked on fruit and nuts and it was so easy.

Yesterday I photographed a wedding and I didn't eat cooked food! That's huge, since I usully 'need' it after work, but yesterday's wedding was in the morning and I was out of there by lunchtime. I had a great shoot powered by OJ :-) and felt happy, energetic and centred. After work, though, I met my family in the park instead of at home, and we ate lunch out. There was only one cafe near where we were, my son was drenched and euphoric playing in the fountain, and there was no way I was dragging him away just to find raw food! I ate a vegie burger. It was a good homemade one, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I used to - it felt greasy from the grill and a bit strange. Today I have my first pimple in many months - maybe thanks to the burger? Dinner was supposed to be almond milk but I'd forgotten to soak almonds and we were off to my in-laws' for dinner, so I made the fruit salad I'd meant to have for lunch. Mmmmmmm! My son ate some too - he's always loved raw fruits, nuts and vegies.

Today I again adjusted the menu. Breakfast was supposed to be bananas and blueberries, but I just can't face anything except orange juice for breakfast now! Lunch was a cucumber salad which tasted amazing - fresh and zesty and fun - but which didn't keep me full for long. When I got hungry I made another salad, like the cucumber one but with celery instead of cucumber. Tasty! Dinner was again supposed to be almond milk but I ended up having a salad of mixed green leaves. Just felt like it. I also tasted some of the rice and lentil salald I made for my husband - it was yummy and I felt fine afterwards.

I'd been feeling a bit discouraged by my almost daily 'cheating' on the program. After all, I committed to doing the program and I'm not doing it properly, so I'm not getting the maximum possible benefit out of it. On the other hand, I am getting an amazing amount out of it regardless, and the option is always there to do it again (and again and again!) and keep testing different aspects of this new lifestyle. Today's daily instructions included some lovely heartening words about not giving up, about the benefits to sticking with the program to come even if we have cheated, and about how much easier this process is going to become as we move forwards. It was a great mental pick-me-up!

I haven't done any formal exercise over the past few days. While my husband has been doing this huge work task I haven't wanted to ask him to mind the kids while I exercise, or to do any housework, so by the time the kids were asleep and the house was cleaned up I was truly ready for bed. Plus I've been reading a great book ('Breath' by Tim Winton), and since I so rarely indulge in reading fiction, I devoted all my spare seconds to it! I truly love reading. I'm on my way to becoming an English teacher so I'd want to love literature!


The happiness exercises for days 13 and 14 were ones that I'd already done during the 21-day cleanse, and while it would probably be beneficial to do them again I'm not going to do them now. The reason is that I'm really interested in today's happiness exercise and am going to jump straight to it! The exercise asks us to write about what we believe constitutes a healthy lifestyle (for ourselves). So:

I believe that for me a healthy lifestyle starts in the mind. When my thoughts are relaxed, happy, positive and confident, my lifestyle always improves.
I believe that diet and exercise are really two sides of one thing - like yin and yang. When I am exercising every day I desire fresh healthy whole-foods, and when I start eating fresh healthy whole-foods I have an increased drive to exercise. My muscles feel as though they are twitching with energy and ready to go!
I believe that fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds are essential to health.
I believe that meat and dairy products are ruinous to health.
The jury is out on whole grains for me. After this program I plan to try eating small amounts of rice, quinoa, barley, millet and other whole grains and see how that works for me.
I believe that wheat products are not good for me - they make my sinuses feel inflamed.
I believe that pulses are best (and yummiest!) eaten as sprouts.
I believe that consciously trying to eat a diet built on compassion has effects on the rest of our behaviour - we become more compassionate in other areas of our lives.

At this point I don't believe that I need to be a 100% raw vegan to be healthy. My idea of my 'ideal diet', which I plan to follow after this program, is:
Breakfast: Smoothie with orange juice, leafy greens, banana and berries.
Lunch: Raw soup or salad or vegies dipped into raw dip.
Dinner: One of the fancier raw recipes, plus a green juice (if the recipe doesn't include lots of greens). A couple of times a week I'll eat a few of spoonfuls of the cooked food I make for the boys, if it's steamed or baked vegies or stir fry or rice with beans/lentils - no wheat products or anything greasy. I'll experiment with raw ways to enjoy my favourite flavours, especially those from Indian, Asian, and South and Central American cuisines.
Snacks: Geen juice or almond milk or fruit. Raw biscuits! I've dreams up a recipe for sticky date cookies that I can't wait to try!
Food for on the bike on long rides: Raw biscuits, dates, nuts, fruit, nut milk, dried fruit, homemade cordial (it's raw and made with orange juice, orange zest, and maple syrup). I know most athletes can't handle fruit before a workout but I'm going to give it a go before I write it off. No sports gels for me, please!
Post-workout snack: Smoothie with orange juice and two bananas, or apples dipped in nut butter.

I'm looking forward to it! I'm salivating at the thought of all this wonderful raw food :-)

Friday 3 February 2012

Day 12

My Mum is now a vegan. The same Mum who for the last 2 years has been incredibly concerned about my health on a  vegan diet and has implored me to eat some eggs... she is really excited and happy and I am so thrilled for her. Her enthusiasm has re-ignited my own. I've been really lackadaisical with raw foods lately - eating my raw foods, sure, but also snacking on cooked foods here and there. Today I loved my brazil nut milk for dinner (I didn't have almonds so Brazil nut milk it was) but also snacked on my son's leftover spring vegetable tagine. On the one hand I'm proud that a 'cheating' indulgence for me is now one of the healthiest cooked foods I can make, but on the other hand I feel I need to re-commit to a raw diet and examine how serious I am about it really in the long term.

It was ethical reasons that first made me vegan. I didn't really want to be a vegan - I loved cheese and yoghurt, eggs and meat. But I was interested in finding out where my food came from and how it was produced, and the more I learned the less I could eat animal foods at all. My new knowledge ruined them for me! I need a similar knowledge to make eating cooked foods unreconcilable wiht my conscience. As the glow of fresh excitement wears off and the novelty of raw veganism fades I need ethical motivation.

So far the one strong ethical reason I can think of for raw cuisine is that ossil suels are not being burned to cook my dinner. I need more inspiration!

I do want this raw thing to be a forever thing and I want the glow and aliveness that it promises. So I am determined to continue and not get bored and keep finding new recipes and making a new 'normal'.

Thursday 2 February 2012

Days 10 and 11

We've been at my parents' house these past two days and I'm noticing a huge change from the last time we visited. Last time I was really tempted by all the cooked goodies they have here, especially chocolate and bread, whereas now neither of those things hold any appeal whatsoever. So despite not sticking 100% to the program I've certainly changed my habits a lot in a really short time.

Yesterday I had orange juice for breakfast - my perennial favourite - and a few pieces of fruit hen I got hungry through the morning. For lunch I had a salad, and for dinner salad again. I also ate some cooked food - a few bits of a vegan vegie pie that Mum made to my recipe. I do wish I was eating 100% cooked foods, but I'm really practicing not beating myself up and I'm feeling that I'm getting closer to 100% raw every time.

I'm not, however, good at this cleanse week yet. It feels like deprivation in my mind, so I rebel, whereas the rest of the raw diet program feels like indulgence and luxury. Maybe next time I do the programs the raw cleanse week will be exactly right for me! Never say never.

Today I had a fruit smoothie for breakfast and fruit for lunch. Then, at dinner, disaster struck! We got stuck in transit on a train station and there was not a single raw thing to eat or drink! I was starving by then, we still had hours to travel, and the healthiest food around was not healthy at all. I got a slice of banana bread from a cafe because it was the 'healthiest' thing I could see. Ah well. Really I think it wouldn't be healthy to regret that since I did the best I could under the circumstances. The knock-on effect wasn't so good - I ate some chips that my husband had, because I was still hungry and we were on the train by then with no other food at all! Back on the wagon again now. I think one of the best things about this program is that it's forcing me to be persistent - to get back into raw foods every time I slip, rather than giving up each time. That's a good lesson to be learning.

I also learned the sillyness of scales in these past 2 days. I am 60kg first thing when I wake up, then 62 kilos later in the day, then 60.5 another time... I began this cleanse at 63.4 kg back on 1st January and if I'd been using the scales this whole time I'd have been really sad not to be losing more weight. However, I am losing a lot mroe than the scales show - my legs are much more slender and muscly and much less cellulite-infested, yay! It makes looking at them much nicer when I'm doing Downward Dog during yoga :-) My stomach is a lot flatter and my cheekbones are more defined. People are making comments like 'You've lost HEAPS of weight'. I'm close to fitting back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. So I'll take that as proof of good progress despite the scales! I'm so glad I don't have scales at home.

My exercise over the past few days has been quite light. Since we are at my parents' house and it is raining constantly I've just let myself get a bit lazy. Again I'm not too worried since I am going home tomorrow to re-acquaint myself with my bike.

As for happiness exercises, yesterday we had to focus on 'Raw Vegan Foods I Love (fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, recipes)'. I love dates, blueberries, cucumber, cos lettuce, tomatoes, mangoes, brazil nuts, sunflower pate, avocadoes, bananas, oranges, the list goes on... I've never met a fruit, vegetable, nut or seed that I didn;t love! Seaweed is more of a challenge since I'm not used to including it in my diet very often, but I do love sushi so I'm thinking that raw nori filled with sunflower pate is a good start.



Today's happiness exercise is to write a poem, and once again I am avoiding that one till later!