Day 4

My juicer broke!

Tragedy!

I tried to start it up to juice my grapefruits this morning, and nothing happened. No whirring. No sound like an aeroplane taking off. Nothing.

I juiced my grapefruits by hand instead.

Nyaaargh! What am I going to do? Citrus I can juice by hand, but other things?

Breakfast was worth all the effort though - a smoothie with grapefruit juice, banana and strawberries. Mmmmm! These are rapidly becoming my favourite breakfast, and when this program finishes smoothies will be my breakfast every day! It occurred to me this afternoon that I should make them green smoothies - the same as a normal fruit smoothie but with some leafy greens in as well. More greens can only be a good thing!

Lunch was meant to be kale subs, but I didn't want the mess so I used the same ingredients made into a salad instead. It was great - the whole family had it and loved it. Even my baby daughter enjoyed a bit of avocado! She's only started eating solid foods a week ago (okay, 'solid' is a stretch!) and avocado seems to be her favourite so far.

Dinner was supposed to be zucchini pasta with a tomato sauce, but we were visiting family and I didn't have enough ingredients to make enough of that dinner to share. Instead I made a fruit salad, which served as my meal and everyone else's dessert. It's become really easy to eat out with family because by now they all know about my raw diet and they're happy for me to bring my own food.

I feel strange today, physically. Since yesterdayI've been having dizzy spells. It tends to happen after I eat - my blood pressure drops, the whole world spins and I have to lie down. I suspect it could be a virus - it's happened in the past from time to time and always seems to sort itself out after a few days. Or maybe it could be a detox symptom? Either way I hope it clears up before Saturday - I work as a photographer and will be shooting a wedding. I'm guessing the bride and groom don't want tilted photos, or their day recorded from ground level!

The head spinning thing made me wary of hopping on my bike for a training ride, so instead I went for a walk for an hour. I ran a tiny bit of the way but didn't feel like my usual self, instead I felt flat and heavy and awkward, my feet were landing hard and that's not good when you run in 'barefoot shoes', so back to a walk it was. I really hope the dizzyness clears up soon. I'll gvive yoga a go tonight and see how it feels with the dizzyness.

Today's happiness exercise is to write 'Why I want to live and be healthy and beautiful'. So:

I love my life - I am extremely lucky. I live in a stunning place in a very fortunate country. I am freee to make the choices that are right for me. My values make me happy. I am married to the perfect man for me. Our children make the world a better (if messier!) place. I am lucky enough to know myself a little, and I'm getting to know myself better all the time, which means I can make choices and live a life that is in harmony with who I am. With such a fortunate life I am committed to living it to the max! My health allows me to do that - to do the things that bring me great happiness. As for beauty: when I feel beautiful I feel happy with myself! Of course outward beauty matters to me. I am nowhere near enlightened and I think it would take enormous enlightenment in a Western society (or any society, probably) not to be attached to my external appearance. What I really want, though, is that glow that shines from inside out that truly lovely people have, those giving, caring, nurturing people with great inner beauty. I desire wrinkles that give my face warmth! As I grow older I want my face to shine... the more I think about it, the more I realise that the people who I consider to be the most beautiful are people who have been alive for many decades - I don't want to call them 'elderly' as that imples a frailty that I don't necessarily see - people who have experienced a great deal and who have done wonderful, generous, giving things with their lives that show in their faces. Goodness shows in their faces. That's beauty. And I want to be beautiful like that because that's the way that people are supposed to be.