Today has been a huge day so far - a day of a small but significant personal enlightenment - and it's only lunchtime!
Over the last few days I have been locked in an ever-strngthening craving spiral. Hommus on rustic sourdough bread. I kept thinking about it. Each time the thought came I shut my mind off, planted my mental foot sith a stern 'No!', and found a distraction for myself. Each time that happened, the craving returned a little later, a little stronger. My mind came down stronger, stronger, stronger every time to cut off the thought without any room for discussion. I was feeling deprived - during this deep cleansing week each day's food is very different from the next, but during a single day being limited to only fruit, or only greens, felt like deprivation - a feeling I didn't have to deal with at all during the first week of the cleanse. I was counting down calendar days unitl I can allow myself that blessed bread and hommus.
Ten minutes ago I got a grip on myself and thought, what's the problem? A slice of bread and hommus, seriously, what is the big deal? After all, I'm doing this voluntarily! If I really need to eat it, I can just eat it! It's not the worst thing I could cheat with by a long shot. 'Just relax,' I told myself, 'you can eat it if you really need it. Your diet is already a million ties better than before, with or without hommus and bread!' And you know what happened then? I lost all 'need' for anything other than the food on today's menu! Turns out I am really a toddler on the inside :-).
After this little epiphany I made lunch. A mixed leaf salad with avocado dressing. Everything except the avocado came from our own vegie garden and it is the freshest, tastiest, most satisfying and nurturing thing I have ever eaten. I don't need or desire anything else - I feel joyful, free, and full of light. I have gone from feeling deprived to feeling indulged, pampered and blessed. How privileged am I!
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